Can 2011 be my time only for 2012??

Time Only....a word that everyone in the barrel industry knows thoroughly.  For the outside world, it is basically a getting to do your practice run in another place other then where you should be.  Some live off of them, these are the girls who are always in line, without fail, every jackpot with at least 3 tickets on the same poor bastard thats been running barrels long enough to know the pattern with or without their rider.  I find this group amusing and always wonder if they use this principle throughout their life outside of the arena.  Can they use it at work? Have a mock meeting with the president of the company before the real one? Have a pretend date before the date? Hell, do they have sex before the sex?? Now that wouldn't be bad at all, but I just can't help but wonder if we are not allowed a pre-run in life, what makes barrel racers think they need one in the arena?


As we approach the upcoming New Year and all the resolutions are being made, I wonder if each year we put in the past could be seen as a "Time Only" for the upcoming year? If we purchase a time only, the best use we get would be to know what needs to be done in our run.  We take into consideration how the ground felt, how the arena was set up, the way our horse felt, how did the bit work, how did we feel....etc. So in return, if we purchased 2011 for our time only, what factors come into play when we go to make our run in 2012?  At a barrel race, we have a few hours to contemplate these factors, but in life we have years of challenges that are put in our past and either forgotten or never forgiven. 


As this year comes to a close, I realize it has been one of the most trivial years I can remember.  The tears have ran down my cheek more freely from life's dirty games.  The struggles have seemingly outweighed the triumphs, and yet the successful moments were still of great magnitude.  Relationships that have grown stronger helped eased the pain of those that faded away.  I feel as if I'm in a rut, the bottom of the drag and the drive to get out is weak.  The past 3 months have been, to say the least, emotionally draining. In order to make my run in 2012 count, I need to really push myself now.  I'm in small indoor pen and have to drive with all I can to make it clean. 

For the upcoming year I have made some very indepth goals.  There are changes that I need to make to improve my quality of life, my marriage, my relationships, and my goals.  Nothing has been as big, or as scary, as starting the New Year with a baby growing inside me.  With this pregnancy there has been some very challenging games my mind has been playing with.  I've been accused of being unhappy and negative  by some, and they weren't far off.  I'm not one of those "happy to be pregnant" types, I've put a lot of plans on hold, been drained emotionally and for the most part just wishing I could get back to normal.  I feel like the poor bastard horse that is still standing in line for time onlies. 

 For my 2012, I make the resolution to start living life.  Quit putting things off till tomorrow, which is actually the reason for this blog.  I have always wanted to write, and been told to pursue it more, but always put it off.  It's been a while, so I apologize that this isn't my best but with a little practice they will be great reading!  Steve and I have also resolved to stop allowing so many disturbances in our life, ie Facebook, television, computer games.  I want to eat healthier, live healthier, and feel healthy.  I want to keep in touch with my friends more, learn to dial a phone number rather then just sending a text message. 

What did you learn in your 2011 time only? Are there big changes coming or are you at the point where you feel you are ready to make that run?  Wherever you may be, I wish all of you the best of the upcoming year.  Have faith in yourself and maybe lay off those crutching time onlies.  Make the best of what you do in and out of the arena, but most importantly, enjoy life. 
Happy 2012~~